Kool In The fan..

This will be my first summer in NYC and its started with a bang. Its hot. Its so hot all I want to do is sleep under the fan. I actually did that already and now I feel lethargic.Its so hot that I dont want anyone to touch me. My poor baby wants to hug me but he is as clammy as his daddy and I dont want either one of them clamming me up. Its so hot that when I put on my hijaab all I want to do is hopscotch to the shades. I feel self concious because Im the only black woman round here in hijaab. So I stand out. Summer is always hard for me when Im wearing hijaab. I just want to rip it off and run in the beeze then I look at all the kuffar women and think well they look kinda hot too. Summer makes me want to put jilbab back on again, I could just flow in the breeze rather than wear what I do which only serves to make me hotter.

This is my first summer in NYC.

Mom said it happens in threes…

When I lived in Illinois there was a sister called Sarah. She suffered from FAS. Her mom drunk when she was pregnant with Sarah and so Sarah had emotional issues as a result.

Sarah irritated a lot of people. She was very sensitive and many thought she had downs syndrome.  They made fun of her  and ostracised her. Last September I found out Sarah had cancer. I went to the hospital and sat with her.She wanted to help me with my kids even after she was in remission. I took pictures of her to send to her husband in Nigeria.

Today I found out that Sarah died.

Inna Lilahi Wa InnaLilahu Rajiun.

You will be missed Sarah.

Your friend Aaishah

Crappy Sun Actually Apologizes

I always hated the Sun newspaper when I lived in the UK. Its owned by the equally distasteful Rupert Murdoch who us also the owner of the crappy New York Post and pathetic Fox   network…..They posted an article about my friend Yasmin that was filled with lies. Anyone that knew her knew that it was a crock but it was out there and some people read that horses**t and tookit as word. They finally apologized for the lies but I hope that its possible to sue them  for libel because Yasmins death did not deserve to be recorded in the way that it was recorded by that crappy paper.

Read more here..

http://www.septicisle.info/labels/Janet%20Hossain.html

Yasmin–My friend for Life

About a month ago I received the worst email that a person could ever receive. It was a link that was forwarded from a BBC world story that I really didnt pay any mind to. I opened the page and being on dial-up went and made  a drink while the page loaded when I came back to my pc..I screamed. I screamed and began sobbing because there in front of my eyes was the face of one of my closest most dearest friends Yasmin.

I only saw as much as “Body found…”  and I just couldnt read anymore. I called another sister and asked her to read the story for me..almost as if I hoped if I didnt read it the news would be any less true.

To my absolute dismay..the story was true. My friend was dead. Murdered in one of the most heinous ways. She was strangled. Choked to death. The very life was sucked out of her. That day I did nothing but cry. I cryed so much my eyes became red  and sore. I cryed at the thought of a young life lost and I cried at the thought of her children that were left. I cried because I felt I wasnt there and maybe just maybe had I been there..I could have been a source of strength to her. The death of my friend affected me very deeply. It affected me in a way that I never thought was possible. Even after a few weeks has passed..I am still numb. Still cant believe that Yas isnt here anymore. I want to share what I wrote the day I knew she had been killed…

“Today I received an email with a link. I didnt check the page as it loaded, When I saw the page I screamed because on it was the face of my london best friend. Yasmin. Now I havent spoken to Yas for ages. I was soo consumed with my own life and problems that I just didnt think about anyone. This week I couldnt sleep. I was tortured. I thought it was because of my   situation here but actually now I believe it was my gut feeling that something wasnt right. Yasmin was beautiful. Inside and Out. She had 4 beautiful children..beautiful black/asian mix. Yasmin held me down. She was my confessor. When stuff with my ex was crazy. She held me down. When I was torn up by all the drama..She was there. Yasmin saw my life. She saw it and she always said she didnt envy it because  she saw how phoney people were around me especially when my ex husband was around. Me and Yas used to compete with reciting Quraan. She used to kill me with it all the time. She had serious surahs down. Please I pray she was able to say her shahadah before she was killed. Now shes gone. Murdered. She was found in the trunk of her Mercedes killed.

What matters is my friend is dead. I dont get to say goodbye to her. Trapped over here..I dont even get to go to her funeral. That hurts. That hurts more than anything. ALl I want to do is be there and I cant. I cant.

Im sitting here devestated. Noone to release this pain to so I type. I type and I cry. Tears splash onto the keypad but I dont care. Yas is dead. How can this be? How can this be? Killed at the hand of a controlling loser who couldnt take NO for an answer. I know Yasmin. She was like me. She picked em with as much skill as me but she was true to life and self. I love you Yasmin. Im sorry that your life ended so short and so tragically. Im sorry that I wasnt there for you when the Deen got too hard, when people turned their backs on you, Im sorry that I wasnt there for you. I wish I could tell you that but I cant. Death separates us but I will make dua for your soul Yasmin. I will make dua for your soul and pray that Allah forgives you all your sins.

:Love Aaishah”

Since I wrote  that I have spoken to Yasmins brother..he has a blog up that will give more information about her murder and  asks for any information that could lead to the conviction and further arrests of anyone else that was involved.

I spoke to her brother for the first time   and I was comforted speaking to her. He told me things that werent open for all to know and I appreciate it. Im humbled by it. The Prophet said the muslim is one body when one part hurts then we should all feel the pain(My praphrases).This is how I feel. That the death of my friend has affected me all the way here in NYC aaway from the stark realities that are going on in London.

I also spoke to Yasmin’s mother. It was sooo good speaking to her because she told me some sweet things that made me feel so happy..yet made me feel so sad too.. When she heard my voice she said..Aaishah..Im so glad you called..I always liked you and thought you were a good friend to my dauhter. That comforted me because I felt the same about Yas. We spoke at length and that conversation too is dear to me. Im still so torn that my friend  is dead but its led me to think a lot about my direction.

Lessons that I can gain from the life and death of my friend.

Yasmin always kept it real. Its amazing how unkind people could be when it related to her.I guess Yas was just a little too fly back then when we were trying to be cookie cutter wives.She had her husbvand wrapped round her little finger in a good way. Yasmin and her children always looked well and healthy.It’s just a shame that they seeparated. I truly believe that Yasmin and him would have found eachother had that been allowed to happen.

Yasmin did a lot of good that people didnt always see. Its sad because thats the way we have become..we like to be seen to do whats good and right. Back in the early 90’s as a young wife with a small 6 month chiuld..It was  hard for me. My then husband travelled a lot and he had brought three of his sons with him and as a wife..I took care of the children until he didnt need my help anymore. Its funny that at 21 I didnt see anything strange  with taking care of 3 children who werent mine. Looking back it was a lot for a 21 year old to deal with. Its no surprise that the relationship that I had with my husband deterioated. I felt trapped. Overwhelmed. Old before my time. Jealous that my husband could travel freely while I couldnt…Ysming was there for me.  She cooked and came around. She helped me more than any sister with those boys. Yasmin took those kids out and she bought  them clothes. She must have spent over $400 on them. Peopla didnt see those t hings that she did but I did.

Ill miss her for ever and I will never ever forget her. Ill do what I can to help with her sons. If  that means buying clothes for them…or anything. Im sure her family can do all that but I want those kids to know that their mother was loved. Loved for the sake of Allah.

Ok so thats it as Im getting a lil emotional now…I promise to blog more but for now this is whats been on my mind.

Peace and Blessings All.

Aaishah AkA MyopicVision

http://janet-hossain.blogspot.com/