Snapshots (2-)”Feloose Qabbil Hiraat”

Sept 07

I love going to City Line. Theres a lot of muslims over there and I can get my little bits and pieces.This day I was going through the dollar stores when I came across a guy selling paints. You know the squeezable ones that are in pen form. I was speaking to him when I noticed the tattoo on his arm. It was arabic. It was beautiful. Very nice script and very nicely drawn.

I asked the seller what it meant and he told me feloose qabbil hiraat.I gasped and asked him if he knew what it meant. He did. I found this soooo interesting that even arabic was gangstered up.

Feloose Qabbil Hiraat means Money Before BitchesIts a line that Pac used and one that Biggy used also.

It basically is a call to put business before women.

It seems like a call that a lot of men use .Period.

Not much but interesting.

Marriage 90’s Styling

Do you know how hard it is to move on from a bad relationship? It has to be one of the hardest , most unrewarding things in the world. I was doing a bit of self reflection today and thinking about why a bad relationship can dictate the kind of people we end up on being. Im sure youve heard the old saying that a woman can get hurt over and over and bounce on back but hurt a man and Lord Have Mercy every one has to pay for the crime of that first heartache.Whether thats right or wrong..Its damn hard moving on from a bad relationship. So often you lose yourself in the process and accumulate yet another bag of broken trusts, memories and insecurities. Its even worse when you have children.In Islam when a marriage breaks down the children are supposed to go to the father when the mother gets remarried and/or the children get old enough. This makes perfect sense to me because its always harder for a man to accept another mans children than it is for a woman. Its more natural for a woman to connect with someones elses children than for a man. When I became a practicing muslim..one of the biggest fears that sisters had was losing their children. It was the ultimate threat to quiet the nagging wife. Noone wanted to lose their kids and everyone believed that the man was serious. If they divorced then he was taking his kids. In those times we were all married…first wives, second wives and so on and so forth.

Looking back I see that was “yet another empty threat”. The majority of women I knew back in the 90’s got divorced and at this time are…yup…raising their children. What happened to the legiions of men that were going to snatch their children? The ones who werent going to have “another nigga raising their seed?” Funny haha or Funny peculiar. The truth is that hardly any of the brothers actually took custody of their children.

I guess it was easier for them to move on and remarry. Try again with another fresh young thing ..the ability to do it right “this time” The problem was that there was way too many first times.

The Prophet said that there was three things that shouldnt be taking lightly….Marriage(An- Nikkah), Divorce(At-Talaq) and Taking Back after Divorce (Ar-Rujua’).

I think it this was branded on the male forehead then theres would be less jest made when it comes to marriage. Some people claim that the East Coast has the record of hit and run marriages. I dont agree. I believe that hit and run marriages are predominant ALL over the revert communities and I mean ALL reverts(Those that reverted from Jahiliyah and Nonpracticing Islam)

Brothers were going crazy with all the potential wives. I mean think about it. If you knew a few hadeeths then you would be seen as knowledgeable to a woman that didnt know squat. You could persuade her to marry you just to satisfy her need for sex or explain to her how you needed to fulfil half your deen.Back in the day sisters were selling themselves for a dream. Some sisters would ask for a rose as Dowry. Some would get a book. I know of some that asked to learn a hadeeth. That shyt was wild. I used to always look at the sisters who did this like they were crazy. How in the world did you sell yourself for a rose. I know we were seen as western “loose” women pre Islam but Islam corrected that for us. We were worth more than $20(as some were married for).

Such was the times back then when hadeeths were used as weapons against one of us. If a sister asked for a sum of money larger than $1000 she was seen as greedy and the hadeeth of the iron ring was wielded in front of her….It was madness so it was no wonder the brothers were hitting it then running. No race was free from that. I know sisters that were divorced post wedding night because they were too fat. I always wondered if any brothers were divorced because they were impotent!

It just seems to me that back then marriage was seen as a easy convenience but noone really thought about the kids that came at the backs of these marriages.

You see trying to find a husband with kids is not easy.Not a lot of men want to take on a woman with children. I remember having sitdowns with brothers who insisted that I gave my kids up BEFORE marriage. I wasnt having that. To me you better prove yourself worthy.