Where do I start?

There have just been way too many things going on around me. The last day of school was 2 weeks ago and having the boys home has been a change. I was scared of them being home because that would mean that Id notice Al-Haarith’s absense more but alhamdulillah it has actually been ok.

Everyone graduated in Haariths class and his friends all wore buttons with Haarith’s photo on. The school didnt graduate Alhaarith or give me a diploma. I thought that it would have been nice for them to do that but I guess they wanted the students to move on and not have a graduation turn into a memorial for my child. Allahu Alim.

I wish it was as easy to move on from his passing. Its getting easier saying the words my son died. Its a certainity that I have and hold within me every day. Not one day goes by where I dont think about my son and not one salat passes that I dont ask Allah to increase my sons grave and/or bless him with Al Firdaws. My son is all around me in his memories.  I miss him as much as when he first died. If anything I miss him more because I realise that he will always be 13  in this dunyah. The mercy for me is that I have these other children whom all have charateristics of Haarith.

Wallahi those boys are a blessing even the little tornado nene who doesnt allow me to wallow in sorrow for too long. Between him asking me for everything in the freezer that even slighly resembles an icepop , Hammams mood swings (Masha Allah) and Dihyahs need to bless the streets with his presence(Allah make it easy for that little kid) I dont have too much time to be stagnant emotionally.

But there have been a lot of things that have been happening. Some cool and some crazy.

Ill start with the crazy! About 2 weeks ago part of my living room ceiling collapsed. I was sitting in my bedroom and all of a sudden heard a type of tearing and ran into the living room to watch , in front of my eyes> half of my ceiling collapse in front ot me! Alhamdulillah noone got hurt but it was scary considering that my baby was just in there playing on the laptop. Subhan Allah so Ive had to deal with that because my landlord decided to change all the ceilings! So I had workmen ripping down old ceilings, painting…the whole 9 while me and the boys were trapped in my bedroom which is the hottest room in the house! We had to live like this for 1 week and it was a fitnah. There wasnt even space to make salaat most of the time..! I have photos of the mess that I was living with just so you can appreciate the fitnah  of house repairs. I dont know how we handled the dust other than by Allahs permission. Tomorrow insha Allah Ill show the finished result!

Crazy!