Graduation
Today my son would have graduated from the 8th grade.
My heart is still broken. I miss him.
On the outside I look ok but my inside is torn. People confuse me. They want you to feel better yet when you “look” ok they think its strange…so when people look at me and say you look so well though…I say..I look ok on the outside but my inside is a wreck.
And it is.
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People can be disgusting if you ask me. Sister, there is no textbook definition for how you or any other grieving person should look or act, everyone has their own way of dealing with grief simple as that. If some days you need to maintain a certain composure for your children so they can feel some strength from you, then so be it. Who cares what people will think? Keep pushing on seeking Allaah’s Help and Solace. May Allaah continue to give you strength and patience, ameen. Love ya sis!
How are you meant to look, crazed? I think most people though
(including myself, I guess) just don’t know what to say or how to act around someone who’s grieving, especially someone who’s lost a child. As a parent, it can be uncomfortable to even think about, let alone confront in another. Michael Rosen (a children’s poet in the UK, if you don’t know him) has written very moving on other people’s reactions to him when his son died.
My mother lost her son 16 years ago. My brother was only 8 years old then. It was hard watching her cope with the loss. She told me that time heals her pain but she said her heart had been wounded and had been scarred. It took her 4 years to be well again and to finally move on for our sake. Allah took him from her because she is a very strong woman and Allah knows my mother will be able to embrace her fate and test in life.I think it is also to test her faith in Islam.
It was hard for her too because people scrutinised her life after my brother’s death and I could still remember the remarks we got. Chin up sister. May you have the strength to get through all these. Insha’Allah.
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