Theres Nothing I Like Better Than Speaking A Lot About Nothing..

So to be able to blog about my views, opinions, life, relatioinships and all the other mundane and/or exciting things in my life is a priviledge. I cant lie. This isnt my first attempt at the blogging life but for one reason or another I always allowed those other earlier pages to die a natural death. Im not creating this place in space in order to be known , envied or liked. Im doing this because I want to express myself in a semi-anonymous manner without the fear of pointing fingers and wagging tongues.Because in the life that I have lead and continue to live..there will always be reason to tongue wag.
First a little about myself. Im in my early thirties. I regularly look into my mirror like the evil stepmother and ask it “Mirror Mirror on the wall what age am I today?”I dont see much signs of aging in my face but I sure do see it in my physical being. Four kids can do that to a woman and although I do look “ok” I know that age is not my friend right now and I am no longer the spring chicken that I once was.
I have a lot of conflicting emotions right now. Maybe its normal for a woman in her 30’s..maybe its not. All I know is that I feel like I have lost a huge part of my youth by being a wife and a mother in the salafee movement.I think that this blog is another step on my journey of self awareness and self love. I live in the Rotten Apple and having moved here recently from the midwest I feel that I am running on t he gerbil wheel trying to get a milluion and one things done by myself, with support at times but mostly by myself. I am mother ands father to my older sons and mother to my youngest. Does that sound wierd? Well it is in a way. I live in an apartment leased to myself and my younder sons father. We are together but have chosen a more unconvential way of doing things.. I never wanted to be with someone expecting them to father my children from a previous relationship so I chose to be with someone who I do have a child with, who is a very good father and support for me but who does not always live with me.Thats just how we both like it at this time and it works for us. For now.
So thats just a very very brief introduction to me and my life and in the days, months and years to come..I am certain that who I am will become cleare to you and hopefully to me too!